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How to Deal with a High Conflict Spouse

High Conflict Custody Cases create stress for the parties and their counsel. I recently located two great resources for parties dealing with high conflict parents. The first resource is a book entitled “Joint Custody with a Jerk“, by Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran. The book explains very well how cases become high conflict cases and provides really concrete ways to deal with the other party. It stresses that, at times, the biggest problem is recognizing who is ultimately responsible for the problem. At times, a parent takes on a problem even though it really is not something for which they are responsible. At times, the child needs to take ownership of the problem. The second book is entitled “BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People.” This is a fairly short book, but it has some great tips. BIFF – stands for brief, informative, friendly, and firm. It points out that, sometimes, it is best simply not to engage high conflict people. It gives a number of examples from employment scenarios as well as family law scenarios. High conflict cases inevitably result in a hefty attorney bill. We try to provide our clients with the resources to manage conflicts without getting the courts involved.

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